Donnons-nous à manger à l’Inconnu, non par désespoir, mais simplement pour enrichir les insondables réservoirs de l’Absurde. (Manifeste du Futurisme)

Upgraded my Fitocracy goal from 35 to 50 points/day. (For comparison, 5 close-grip chin-ups are 28 points.) So I’m now at 5x my original rate. I think I can go up to 100 points/day, but I’m not sure if I regenerate fast enough, so I’ll informally try to go as high as possible, but only enforce 50/day until I have a week or so of data.

For calibration, I checked this week’s leading meat bag athlete on Fitocracy who also relies on bodyweight exercise. I found it quite motivating that exercise-wise, he’s not doing anything different from me, and in some cases, even does about as many reps per set as I am. (And where he’s clearly superior, he’s still in a range I consider physically possible, even for me (in due time). It’s not like he’s lifting trucks or something.) He’s just doing a lot more sets, and with 100/set, he earns >8000/workout.

So new goal: move up to 200/day asap. That would finally put me in the better half¹ of Fitocracy users.

This might be the first time I’m actually feeling ever-so-slightly competitive about something others are actually better at. I’m nourishing the shit out of this emotion because I’ll need a lot more of it.²

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Fiddled more with the subs2srs cards. Don’t have the perfect mix yet, but getting there. Also converted a whole bunch of episodes.

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Il n’y a plus de beauté que dans la lutte. Pas de chef-d’œuvre sans un caractère agressif. La poésie doit être un assaut violent contre les forces inconnues, pour les sommer de se coucher devant l’homme. (Manifeste du Futurisme)

Sigh.

Tried to write about ambiguity, couldn’t get it to work.

There’s this weird territory of magic you can’t talk about. It’s not that it’s forbidden, it’s just that it’s impossible. It fundamentally runs on ambiguity. It’s like Mitch said:

I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. It’s not the photographer’s fault. Bigfoot is blurry, and that’s extra scary to me. There’s a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside. Run, he’s fuzzy, get out of here.

I’m not sure if I’m becoming way more powerful or going insane again. I’m sitting on more and more incommunicable evidence, and results that work only because they are ambiguous and uncertain. The power balance in my head is shifting dramatically. I’ve given the Taoist a bit more freedom, and now he’s running the show. He has resolved half our problems already and vastly improved everything else. I’m not exaggerating - I went through that old 200+ item list of Everything That Is Wrong With My Life and every single item has made progress and it’s now, like, a 20 item list.

But I can’t clarify how he does it, what attitudes he induces, what beliefs needed hacking. I can’t even understand them because that would remove the necessary ambiguity.

There’s this quote from some weird crackpot text I once read. It goes like this:

Q: How can I flow in time? A: You are already flowing in time. Stop flowing out of time.

That’s how I feel.

Sigh.